Issue #82 January 25, 2003

Watch Your Step

The Internet is one more awesome thing. One day I'm in one of your clients filthy, hot, damp smelly attics or crawl spaces and the next I am responding to some poor souls problems in Northern California. He says, in frustration that he typed "attic safety" into the search engine Ask Jeeves, and what does he get? Me. Can you believe it? Now I am involved in his divorce, as if my own past weren't enough. His story is very interesting, you could say strange. (I have edited this for the sake of brevity, there is much more detail in the actual e-mail):

I read your story about the garage attic falling on top of the Mercedes with interest. My father, my wife, and I installed plywood flooring in the attic in July of 1999. On July 28, 2000, I was served with divorce papers, August 14, 2000, I moved from the home, December 25, 2000, my X was in the attic, stepped off the plywood, fell 18 feet, and broke her ankle. She is now suing me for negligence, asking for $350,000. There were no attic stairs, only a scuttle in the closet, which required a step ladder to access. The complaint is that I failed to inform my X where the plywood ended (which is not true, as she was in the attic when we built it, and we demonstrated the limits of the plywood), and that I left a hazardous condition in the attic, as I offered no warnings, signs, etc.

I am open and hopeful for any information or advice you can offer.

Thanks, big time! 

This little story brings to mind a true but very funny thing that happened while inspecting an older home in the Ardmore area of Winston-Salem near Baptist Hospital. I knew my client was an incoming medical resident, but had not inquired as to his specialty. He was following very closely behind me as I pulled down the damaged and extremely rickety attic stair. I was dictating its condition while warning him to not come up. I shouldn't have walked up. He reached up and smacked me on the back. "Don't you dare put that in my report." I have had some strange requests, but I am sure as I turned to look back at him I had an inquisitive look on my face. His comment without cracking a smile: "I am an Orthopedic resident and these things are going to make me very rich so you shouldn't be discouraging people from using them." Now, that's my kind of doctor! One with his priorities in the right place. Before long I will be inspecting his mansion. Don't you love them? I hope his X doesn't fall through the attic.

Did you get it yet? This is about Attic Safety. There should be a warning in huge red letters:

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Danger entering this space will be dangerous to your health!
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How many Realtors have I heard tell about the time the Home Inspector fell through the ceiling? When I ask, every time, it is the same inspector Rich Reynolds (Dick's son). Rich, just how many have you fallen through? Even I have fallen through a few in my life, but I don't think I can begin to compare with what must be Rich's record. Yep, we are supposed to know the danger and be careful and we fall through, what does that say for you? How many heating technicians, electricians and insulators do you think have fallen through? Attics are dangerous and you must begin being careful the moment you open the door, crack the hatch or pull down those terrible stairs. Think of it as Jurassic Park, and maybe, just maybe you will be able to survive.

What did I tell the guy from California? Well, he must have liked it considering he responded back that he sure was glad when he entered "attic safety" in that search engine that my site popped up, even if I was on the wrong coast. Although I gave him detailed and technical advice on how to prepare a defense, the following will give you an idea as to the slant of my response and how you should act after you fall: 

Oh, if you do fall through, you've been warned, get up on your crutches, suck in you gut, bite your lip, fight back the tears and take responsibility for your own stupidity. Don't search for an X to blame it on. It ain't their fault you're so dumb.

This has been short and sweet and to the point, so I am going to add a couple extras which should interest you. Mold is becoming more of an issue and being blown way out of proportion. I have created a Mold Resource Page to help you understand and deal with the issue. It would also be a good place to send a client in need of some education on the subject. You will find it at: http://www.chrisdhilton.com/mold_resources.htm. Check it out, I think you will be pleased.

Now for a little fun: We are going to see how good you would be as a home inspector. Last week I had the privilege of witnessing something unusual and would like to share it with you. Click on the link to go to a picture and explanation. Know what it is and why it's present here? If so drop me a e-mail. I would enjoy hearing your impressions. 

A Triad Realtor discovered this in the foyer coat closet of her two and one half year old home

Thought for the week
 
The best defense is a good offense. 
Stay out of the attic.
Keep your insurance paid up.
Hire some other fool, like me, to fall through.